Fiancée no more
by Grace1323
Summary: What if Ranma was able to fix his engagements and Fiancée problems by just taking a visit to the doctor?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all associated characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and are used without permission. This fan-fiction isn't intended for commercial use but is rather a tribute to the Ranma ½ universe.  
  
Fiancée no more  
  
Summery: What if Ranma was able to fix his engagements and Fiancée problems by just taking a visit to the doctor?  
  
Chapter 1  
  
[At Dr. Tofu's clinic]  
  
Ranma was in Dr. Tofu for his usual check-up. He was waiting on the examination table for his results from tests by Dr. Tofu. Then the doctor came in with the results.   
  
"Anything good doc?" asked Ranma when Dr. Tofu came in.  
  
"Let me see the results," said Dr. Tofu as he shifts through the papers he has.  
  
"Ranma you're health is overall very good especially with that super healing factor of yours."  
  
Ranma beamed with that result with pride.  
  
"But there is one thing though. It seems that your sperm count is very low almost classifying you as sterile," said Dr. Tofu.  
  
"I don't get it," said Ranma.  
  
Dr. Tofu cocked one of his eyebrows and asked:  
  
"Did you get sex Ed at school?"  
  
"I didn't really go to school," said Ranma.  
  
"Uh didn't your dad teach you about the honey and bees?"  
  
"Hum you mean bees make honey?" said Ranma innocently.  
  
"Ah damn it! Don't you know how babies are made?"  
  
"Uh a bird comes with the baby to the mother like children are told by people?"   
  
"ARRRGrarr!" yelled Dr. Tofu who was now tearing some hair out of his head.  
  
"Ok Ranma you see when there is the opposite sex join together in a marriage, they produce a baby in order to pass their traditions.  
  
"You mean an heir," said Ranma.  
  
"Yes if you insist. Now in your case you cannot produce an heir because of so many factors such as stress, trauma from the Neko-ken, anxiety from the entire fighting, duel, and all the damages you have taken. Since the stress is so high, your body is only healing the most important things in your body that has been broken and neglecting the less important ones.  
  
"Your point?"  
  
Dr. Tofu just signed seeing that Ranma doesn't understand.  
  
"To put it simple, I'm afraid that if you marry Akane, you will never have a child with her or any girls."  
  
"You mean I won't be able to produce an heir?" said Ranma.  
  
"Yes you will not have an heir since from what I know that all anybody who does practice martial arts requires an heir to pass off their technique when people are marry," said Dr. Tofu.  
  
"That's perfect!"  
  
"What?" asked Dr. Tofu.  
  
"You see with so many people I have to marry, I can't really do anything to void them since my father did all the contracts with them without losing honor. Now with this revelation, I can put an end to all engagements honorably since I have this medical condition. Also maybe Soun will stop bugging me."  
  
"But aren't you worried?"  
  
"Nope! Now I can never have to worry about proposing or accepting a proposal for a date. I now can worry about finishing school and get decent job. I think I'll go and tell some people about this great news. That way people will not bother me anymore. Have a nice day Doc!"  
  
"Genma next time I see you, I'm sending you to the vet," muttered Dr. Tofu as Ranma left happily.  
  
Author's notes:  
  
How do you like it? Oh does anybody know the type of bird that carries babies around in the children stories? I don't remember. Plz give your two cents! 


	2. meeting wacko girl

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all associated characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and are used without permission. This fan-fiction isn't intended for commercial use but is rather a tribute to the Ranma ½ universe.

Fiancée no more

Summery: What if Ranma was able to fix his engagements and Fiancée problems by just taking a visit to the doctor?

Chapter 2 Meeting wacko girl

Out of the streets of Nermia two days later

Now let's see. The amazons are pretty much a big burden on me, so I have to tell them the news. But eventually Shampoo will attack one of the girls thinking that it is their fault for my problem.

You may wonder how Ranma became so smart; well this is how it happened.

Flashback

BOOM

There Ranma crashed into the ground like a comet from outer space. A female homeless person happens to live near the ground and this person went to see the smoking ground. By the time this person sees the crater with the human being on it. Seeing a human, there was only one thing to do which was to scream.

"It's an alien!"

Ranma woke up instantly and looked around.

"What?" he said stupidly.

"You're alive!" cried out the homeless bum.

"Of course I am. I am the best martial artist!" said Ranma getting up.

"Really? I bet you are a sucker that sucks at everything except being a fighter with no brains," said the bum.

"That's not true!" Ranma said angrily.

"Then I challange you," said the bum.

"Well I don't fight girls," said Ranma flatly.

"I'm not asking you to fight me physically. I'm challenging you at a game of mind. If I win you have to do what I say."

"Right, and if I win?"

"Simple, I'll just take back those words I gave you. That is if you can't take the pressure…"

"Name it!" said Ranma taking the bait.

"Chess is the game we will battle!"

"What is chess?"

"I'll teach you."

"Fine. But what's your name?"

"You'll know if you beat me."

Ranma grumble but agreed. So the bum taught Ranma the moves which he memorized well. After all Ranma never backs down a challenge. After he learned the rules of the games, Ranma proclaimed that the bum she was going to lose. But the bum was not worried at all.

"Let the game start!" proclaim Ranma with a lot of pride taking white position.

After four turns, Ranma was irked.

"Checkmate," said the bum.

"I was beaten by a girl!" wailed Ranma.

"Hey what the hell is wrong of being a girl? You men think you all are machos but you are all just talk! Plus now you have to do what I say." said the bum.

"I demand a rematch," said Ranma.

"Yeah sure you have no right to ask a rematch. You lost, fair and square," the female bum said as she poked at Ranma.

"Hey what the hell was that for!" cried out Ranma.

"Plah, so weak cry baby," she said as she poked some more.

"Stop it!" yelled out Ranma angrily.

"Heh how many pokes will it take before you blow your lid?" she grinned. "After all you don't hit girls."

Ranma was streamed but he knew hitting a girl was against his moral ethic. So he just took in all the pain that the bum gave to him.

"Ok what's the point?" he asked.

"Simple, you have some grudge against girl but at the same time you don't hit girl. What's up with that logic? You know you don't deserve this kind of treatment, so why not fight back?"

"I just can't…" sputtered Ranma.

"Can't? What do you mean you can't? You survive an impact that made a crater out of nowhere and you say you can't? Tell me,"

"Because of honor," said Ranma

"Honor? That is the most BS I have ever heard in my life. Since when people are honorable? You maybe the best fighter in the whole world but if fighting are the only thing you can do and there is world peace, what is the point of fighting? You will be completely worthless, a nobody. Got it?"

"I am a nobody. I am Ranma…"

"Blah." Interrupted the bum. "I don't give a damn what your name is. It reminds me too much of the ancient hereditary system. So you just boss everybody around just using your name?"

"No not really but…"

"But what? Sure it tell who you are but does it really say who you are? What if you were to believe in something that is seemly right, but would you die in the name of honor if you were innocent?"

Ranma didn't know what to say right away but before he could open his mouth, the bum continued.

"I don't want to hear your answer. It is up to yourself, but I'll tell you something. I was once something like you, a fighter."

"Sure…OW"

"Shut ya crap up! I wasn't done. But if you insist smart ass. What is the rule of being a martial artist?"

"To protect the weak and fight evil," said Ranma proudly as he got another poke.

"Well that is close enough but do you see the problem? The weak is picking on you and you can't do a ruddy damn about it. I had that problem to so damn many years. The weak expect you to do thing which they can't do themselves or at least try to do themselves. They get mad if you don't do what they want you to do. Plus they always fool you with honor all the time. I quit and left the entire honor stuff"

"Why?"

"Cause the guy I was going to marry was abusive."

Ranma did the imitation of a fish. It kinda reminded of his problems.

"So what happened after that?" he asked.

"Well I was supposed to commit the seppuku in order to keep the honor but I ran away thus saving me life. Now don't tell me that doing the seppuku is the right thing. I was not the abusive person beating people up for no reason. Martial artist are not bullies, nor they drink alcohol since it imbalance their chi level. I was innocent and there was no reason why I should have to die for something I didn't do. The guy I had to marry did not change, not even if I gave many chances. I abandon my honor and family for the freedom I have now. It may look bad. But at least I know what is right. The reason I am a bum as you see if the lack of education. You must understand, this is not the past where honor rules. This is the present where education rules! You need schooling man! Without school, you are nothing. You have no job of getting anywhere since not many people taking dojo lessons anymore. If I was at school, I would have another option but I wasn't. So I want you to learn at school, do things you like to do. Then go to college! Either you like it or not, you are bound to honor. If you don't do what I say then you are a hypocrite."

"But how?" asked Ranma.

"Simple, go to the library. You like fighting, so go and look up about fighting. You sure will find something that might interest you."

"Uh now?"asked Ranma.

"Yes now!" as she gave him another poke in the eye. Of course Ranma left cursing with one of his eyes working to the library and read stuff what the library offered. By reading more and more books, Ranma got smarter and kept his promise.

Flashback ended

When was thinking what to say to the Amazons when he heard a familiar voice.

"Hohohohoho" the gymnast girl said as she landed in front of Ranma's path

Dang it. I don't need the zany now to bother me! thought Ranma.

"What do you want now Kodachi?" demanded Ranma

"Oh Ranma-sama, you are so nice to be concern what I need," said Kodachi.

Hum I did not expect for her to be how but eventually I have to tell her about my condition. But since she is not a normal person, I can not tell her blank face. I just have to do it slow and make leave me her for good.

"Kodachi, we need to talk about our relationship," said Ranma.

"Ah so you will be leaving the harlots forever for me!"

"Hum no. You see I can't marry you," said Ranma

"What do you mean Ranma-sama? Who is the barbarian that is preventing us getting married? I shall punish the peasant!"

"No that's not it. Let me put this way. You know when a guy and a girl wed, they have a baby right?"

"Yes Ranma-sama, oh the many children we have."

Ranma shuddered at the vision and thought Don't need any more Kunos in this world.

"Hum do you know where the baby comes from right?"

"Of course Ranma-sama! From the stork."

Ranma just jaw dropped. He knew where kids came from by reading books after his lesson from Dr. Tofu. Of course he thought too the same thing but this was a girl we're talking about. Girls have babies so they should know.  
You got to be kidding me. This must be the result of going to a girl only school. thought Ranma. He knew she went to an only girl school since he fought her before.

"Hum no that's not right. Babies don't come from stork. You see there is a special ritual in which the girl emits a call to get a baby and I can't do that type of ritual." "Ohoho that's no problem. We can just telephone the stork and the stork will come. After all storks drop babies at airports right? I can get somebody to drive us to the airport if we needed to."

Ok scratch that, it is the result of a girl only religious school. thought Ranma.

"Kodachi ever hear that every couple when they are done with their nuptial, they have a honeymoon. And when the honeymoon is finished, the bride shows her bed sheet to everybody that there is a spot on the sheet stained red as proof of success."

Kodachi nodded.

"Well you never will get one on your sheet," said Ranma.

Kodachi thought about what he said and realized there was only one course of action. She screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Woah that wasn't I was expecting from a Kuno. Hum I wonder who is crazier, my mom or her. thought Ranma.  
"WHO DONE IT?! WAS IT THAT PIGTAIL GIRL?! I"LL GET HER FOR THIS!!" screamed Kodachi.

"Whoa whoa no it wasn't her. It was…"

Kodachi looked at her darling with evil glint in her eyes which made Ranma think very carefully.

Ok I know I can't let her lose on the other girls since they are not crazy like her. Well the only person beside the Kuno family is my mom, Nodoka. Yeah my mom with her seppuku pledge for being manly. Being manly is too vague. Sure I am a male in gender but to give life to child I cannot. My mother will not think I am a man amongst men so it is a loss and loss situation. thought Ranma.

"WELL?" screeched Kodachi interrupting his thoughts.

"Hum my mother…"stammered Ranma.

"Huh?" questioned Kodachi being shocked.

"You see my mother made a pact on me take makes me unable to uh…" lied Ranma before interrupted by Kodachi who had a general idea what Ranma-sama was trying to say. After all it was the job of the wife to understand and fill the rest of the blanks of her husband's words no?

"Then the Black Rose shall find and retrieve from your accursed mother of yours. I shall personally free you from what pact your mother had cursed you with! Hohohohoho!" proclaimed Kodachi as she left leaving a shower of black petals.

"Hum not exactly how I plan but at least I know that the girls will be safe. I wonder who will win? Kodachi's razor sharp ribbon or my mom's whetted blade? Hum two of the most crazy idealist clashing against each other. Hard to say though. Now where was I? Oh yeah getting rid of the Amazon," mumbled Ranma.

So Ranma finished his path to the Nekohanten's front door.

Ok I have to do this to rid the Amazons for once and for all thought Ranma as he walked to the door.

End of Chapter 2

Author's notes:  
First of all thank you to all the reviewers. It was dead useful.

I know this may not be a good chapter but I have to somehow explain Ranma being smart. Also I have no idea how to write a decent dialogue of Kodachi since I don' have the same mind set as her.

I hope this story is alright so far. So who do think that might win between Kodachi and Nodoka. 


End file.
